Day 1

Today was the first day.  I told myself last night I would get up and exercise in the morning; I told my husband, too.  I turned off the alarm when I went to bed - I didn't want to have to get up to do something I should have time for during my usual hours.  I like to sleep.

I woke up at 4:58 a.m.  That was the time I was going to wake up.  I wanted to go back to sleep.  God said, "Get up, like you said you would, I have a gift for you."  You're crazy.  Then, oh, what the heck.  I got dressed as quietly as I could so as not to wake my husband.  I was always concerned I would wake him up and he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.  I kissed him gently on the head.  And I left for the gym.

I walked outside.  And you know how when you turn off the lights, if you wait a while you can see things in the dark.  Well, I looked up.  There were stars, everywhere.  I listen to a radio station that does the McDonald Observatory StarDate with Sandy Wood every morning.  The stars fascinate me -- light years away, some of the stars we see are from light that has traveled thousands of light years; light that started traveling when the Civil War was happening, during the Renaissance, during the Crusades.  I stood there, looking up.  The more I looked, the more I could see.  There were stars behind the stars behind the stars.  The sky was full of them.

I went to the gym.  While I was running, God said to write a blog.  Now, I only know what a blog is because my husband is nerdy, sort of.  He likes this stuff.  I am on Facebook because my daughter-in-law set it up.  I have email because my husband set it up.  I have talked to my son in Kuwait, my daughter-in-law (heck with it, daughter) in Colorado and us in Pennsylvania because my daughter and son can work this magic thing.  That is how I see it - magic.  Until, of course, it doesn't do what I want and then I am throwing my Pennsylvania Dutch contempt via a tantrum.  

Writing a blog is a stupid idea.  I have kept journals during times of my life and had thought I might want to start organizing one again, instead of using the random pieces of paper I have been finding and then un-finding. 

As I was finishing up at the gym, the sun was rising.  It was a brilliant purple-red hue today.  

I stopped at my spiritual address, my church building.  The men's room in the basement had the light on so I turned it off.  I went to the balcony because I understood that was where God wanted me to start.

I struggle with depression - I struggle with the inner workings of a brain that can find the worst possible outcome of a situation and create the anxiety to go along.  I was okay until I walked over to look over the edge of the balcony.  The temptation given to Jesus to throw himself from a high point immediately became an option.  Hold on here, I am not fighting with this today, so back down the stairs to the sanctuary.

The sanctuary has stained glass windows.  There are many symbols and stories covered by these windows.  The first window had an image, a scripture reference, and identified a person - man - in history.  The story was the healing of the blind man that called out to Jesus.  I didn't realize that story had made it into a stained glass window.  I think the man was Luther.  Other windows' referenced Jesus on the cross with the men on either side - the men were not imaged in the window on crosses, the angel at the tomb, the Emmaus walk with the sharing of the bread that led to an awareness of Jesus presence.  I stayed until it felt like time to leave.  I read the verses referenced by the sunlight provided by the windows.

I stopped for my morning beverage and snack at the local mini-mart.  When I was getting out of the car, I thought I heard a car accident.  I looked toward the direction of the sound.  I didn't remember that until I was coming out of the store and heard the sirens.  A police car came to the intersection and the cars having stopped, I thought the accident was in the intersection.  The police officer looked at a young woman who was pumping gas.  He inquired about an accident.  When he pulled around to the space next to my car, I asked if a call had been made about an accident.  He confirmed.  I told him I thought I had heard a crash.  He asked if I had made the call.  I had not -- he noted it had been reported it involved a pregnant female.  As I was leaving it appeared the police car had come to a stop with lights flashing in the general area from where the sounds had led me to look.

I then went on my day.  That meant coming home to using the new shower.  We are having our bathrooms remodeled as they told us it was time by breaking.  The new shower worked.  Then the person who is doing the renovations arrived and took away our water.

The basics of life all deal with water -- cleaning myself off, filling myself up and emptying myself.  So the day had intermittent trips to the local mini-mart for assistance with those basics.
Here it is the end of the day -- I avoided this until now.  What was the gift?  When I was looking at the stars this morning, I remembered the story of Moses being called, the doubt that he could speak and God's encouragement through acts - burning bush, hand of leprosy healed, stick to snake - that God would be there.  I thought I was Moses receiving my confirmations that God would be with me because lately I have thought God wants me to speak -- the first were the stars with the light that travels through history, the second was the sunrise of new opportunity to strengthen my integrity to follow through on what I believe, the third was to speak my experience to a police officer unsure of how to proceed.
Maybe. I often do not listen to the voice that encourages a comment.  I hope the accident did not cause pain for the family awaiting the birth of a child.